Be An Observer

All of us will never stop facing challenges in our lives. Whether it is our relationship, financial or career, there are always the ups and downs. You will slowly notice (if you haven't already) that all the problems we face in lives are created by people. There maybe someone complaining behind your back, your spouse maybe blaming you for all the hazard in your relationship without giving any credit to the things that you have done right. The list is endless.

If we take it personally and ruminating that it is unfair that you were thought of in a bad way by other people, then we magnify the problem that we already have and our emotion goes straight downhill. Instead we should look at the situation as if it is a stage and we are just an observer watching a show behind the curtain or in the audience seat. Everyone that is involve in the argument are there on stage. We even see ourselves on that stage in the argument. To be an observer means that you detach yourself and see the whole situation from the outside. Using a third person point of view, you are just another person in that show. That way, you don't take things too personally and instead have a better control of your emotion, you are simply enjoying the show.

This exercise can even help those who are suffering from panic attacks. When someone is having a panic attack, they are experiencing shortness of breath and thoughts of them dying constantly come into their mind. When the mind starts to feed negative inputs and warnings that there could be a fatal consequences, their conditions spiraling downwards and they are frozen in fear. That is what happen when you put yourself in the epicenter of the situation that a minor discomfort in your body could be reinterpreted by the mind as something life threatening. 

The observer exercise is a good technique that can help people who are suffering from panic attacks to gradually come out of their fear and take back the control of their lives. When the next panic attack happens, instead of thinking that they are going to die, be an observer and see that there is just someone having a discomfort in his breathing. See that person (which is yourself) slowing down his breath and starts to relax his body. His body gradually rises up, his breathing slowly returning to normal and the panic attack is eventually gone.

When you see yourself from the observer's point of view, there won't be thought of dying because you are not involve. You just see someone anxious and trying to catch his breath (everyone's breathing will go faster when they are anxious so it is absolutely normal). Usually panic attack just lasts for a few minutes and it is gone. It is important to know that it is never permanent. 

If you could survive panic attacks, then all the other problems that you face in life such as being scolded by your boss or spouse seems trivial and unimportant. You are not here to please everyone because your health is the most important thing of your life.